


For Certain

by MoreHuman



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Break Up, M/M, no happy ending, what it says on the tin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22739836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoreHuman/pseuds/MoreHuman
Summary: David needs an answer about kids that Patrick can’t give. It goes badly.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 40
Kudos: 91





	For Certain

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? Sometimes plot bunnies go dark. I’m sorry.

The first time David asked, they weren’t even together yet. He turned to Patrick three days after Rose Apothecary opened, when a customer had just dragged their screaming toddler from the store.

“You’re probably one of those people who wants one of those, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” Patrick replied, because he knew it was the most annoying answer. He was rewarded with a gorgeous little _Hmmm_ from deep in David’s throat.

The second time David asked, it was the day they thought Alexis was pregnant, before they learned it was really Jocelyn. 

“Ted might think it’s good news, I guess? But can you imagine _wanting_ to find out you’re going to be a dad?”

“Maybe,” Patrick replied, because he still had so little practice at trusting himself to know what he wanted. He kissed the nervousness in David’s smile until it disappeared, and it already felt like habit.

The third time David asked was after their housewarming, once they’d purged the apartment of the last of the Jell-O shots and adolescent feelings.

“It’s such a relief that I’ll never have to raise anyone through their high school years. Don’t you think?”

“Maybe,” Patrick replied, because he really hadn’t thought about it much. He yawned and could suddenly taste the panic in the air.

The last time David asked was forty minutes of very serious conversation later.

“I can’t fall any deeper into this until I know. For certain. Are you going to be happy with never having kids?”

“Maybe,” Patrick replied, because it was the most precise, most honest he could be.

“Well.” David said. “I guess there’s our answer.”

Patrick kept arguing for another forty minutes before he realized they’d already broken up.

——

They tried to go back to being just friends, just business partners, and it worked about as well as it ever had. They teased, they flirted, they restocked the same shelf and let their hands touch more than necessary. It boiled over one night during inventory, with a kiss so forceful it sent bottles of body milk skittering across the floor, meaning they’d have to start that column of the spreadsheet over in the morning. And yes, they’d been drinking, but when they fell back into his bed together there was more hope in Patrick’s belly than whiskey.

David was gone the next morning and Patrick found him at the store, a full hour before opening, finishing the inventory on his own. Like he had something to prove.

“Last night was a mistake,” he said in a voice he’d never used before, not mean but hard, and that was how Patrick knew he had to leave Schitt’s Creek. 

If he stayed, things would continue to twist and grow ugly between them and he couldn’t bear it if that happened. If David Rose was going to be a person he had to look back on, he wanted to make sure he got to look back and smile.

——

Patrick told Dylan that he wanted to have kids on their second date. The truth was he was still on the fence, but if he didn’t have them now then what had it all been for?

“My, aren’t we forward?” Dylan said, with that smile Patrick loved already.

They got married on a Sunday two years later, adopted Charlotte right before their first anniversary, and signed the divorce papers shortly after her sixth birthday, because sometimes that’s just how these things go.

Charlie was growing up into an amazing little person, and Patrick felt so lucky to be her dad, to have a hand in that. He got to share everything he loved with her and see it from a new angle. But he didn’t feel like a different person because of her. It wasn’t impossible for him to imagine his life without her. He knew now, for certain, that he would have been fine either way.

He did look back on David Rose, and he did smile. He didn’t believe in regrets, but he did wonder sometimes, just between him and his bedroom ceiling, if he’d once had a shot at a life that would have been impossible to imagine differently. And he missed it.


End file.
